June 25th 2013 Update

Well so far today has been another good day... After the episode of Avery not picking up his toys & me going in there & filling up a box to give away he has decided today that he wants to keep the rest of his toys so he has picked up every mess that he has made! I think I got my point a crossed to him. I asked him why he was picking up his messes & he said "because I made them & I don't want my toys to go in your room for a day. I would be really bored..." I said "thank you for picking up your toys & you got that right... You decide not to pick up your toys & they will go in my room for the day." FOLLOWING THROUGH is KEY!!! SO I will continue to follow through...

I didn't get to any unpacking, putting any pictures up, or cleaning... My son needed some mommy time so the hours I had with him were spent worthwhile!!! We made a cardboard shield only to run out of tape.... Needless he was a tad disappointed, but is happy I am letting him play with it even though it isn't completely finished. The edges aren't all taped... Then we put together a puzzle of the avengers... He had some fun & I just enjoyed being & spending time with him as well... All that other stuff can wait until later... I should checkout Walmart & see if they have any decent prices on a shield... Also Avery has been without a pull-up for over 2 weeks!!!

It's always got to be something.... Yesterday it was not picking up his toys, tonight it's not wanting his teeth brushed, urg.... I mean seriously why the screaming???? It's just a toothbrush with toothpaste!!!! Will I ever get to a point where I can just hide my emotions & not let it bother me? His counselor said don't put any energy or emotion into anything when he acts out.... Easier said than done. I keep telling him if he doesn't brush his teeth they will will get cavities & fall out... He doesn't care, he would rather throw the biggest fit ever.... grrrrrrrr... I tried telling him that his buddies brush their teeth, did that work nope... I have had trouble in this area but I thought we overcame it, well I guess not... Now he doesn't get his sword for the whole day tomorrow, that really made him mad....Other than that it has been a very peaceful day! Now for some me time... I think I'll put on the radio & listen to the fish while I cool off from being frazzled..... Breath in & out.......

Today for the most part has been a good day regardless of my venting earlier... I got to spend some much needed time with Avery & we got to talk & he gave me tons of questions that he had about everything... Lots of questions about daddy as well... For me those are the hard ones because sooo much is unknown... So I just do my best to reassure him that God knows what's best & that He will get us through this... This separation isn't easy on him either... I guess I try to keep moving forward & keep thinking everything is okay & honky dory & then my son asks a question that brings me back to the realization that everything isn't as okay as try to make it... I guess I am having one of those nights where I just wanna cry myself to sleep. There is pain in the night but JOY comes in the Morning... Sooo many emotions through all of this... I guess it is normal to miss the one who hurt you. After all we've been married over 8 years... You don't just stop feeling for your spouse when that's all you've known for soo long... I know God has this, I just need to continue to stay strong & rely on the Lord... Well gnite all, sweet dreams, & God bless you & yours...